On saying good bye

One year ago, I was standing here in front of this facade. I was begging, almost crying and thinking "let me in, please please accept me, I need to come back, I need to get in, I NEED THIS!". And now here I am, facing the inevitable. I lean against the wall, taking a deep breath and think:
Oh well, this is just about time.

My life has been ruled by risk which has taken me through a bunch of failed relationships, musical projects, glamorous and greasy jobs and an interminable venture to find meaning in words, drawings and travels.

But who hasn't had such a life?

I stop and think about the reasons that made me come back to London, the very ones that had me non-stop struggling to apply, sign, print, pay, ask, beg and finally getting that little sticker on your passport that grants, at least for that moment, your ticket to happiness.

I had a sole, massive reason fixed on my mind to dive, bravely, into this new venture. At the end, well, it just didn't turn out as I hoped.  But still all this risk has granted me the chance to meet amazing friends, peeps, peers, mates and partners in crime from all over the world. Even the ones who I didn't get to know deeply, they still turned into mentors, angels and spiritual gurus.

Citing Oscar Wilde's "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars", I feel proud and thankful to be on the dreamer's side. Without it, The Fabulous Poufs and an ever growing set of illustrations, ideas, projects and products, would had never seen light.

It's time to say good bye, and it's painful and scary.

But I soon realise that the only difference now, is that this is not the first time I pack my bags. And saying that, I can finally turn my back to this facade, and keep my eyes fixed ahead.

I know now that nobody will stop me or hold me back in London. London is letting me go. And I realise  that I am OK about it. I don't have to stay, I've had a loving and privileged life waiting for me in the other side of the world, all this time.  I just have some final note, some sort of buh-bye farewell song, and just for the sake to avoid uncontrollable weeping by sad songs -because we all need to protect ourselves from them-, I leave you with this super-tacky-poppy-please-stop-it-are-you-kidding-me Irene Cara song. Dont' say I didn't warn you ;) In any case, I grew up listenting to this song as a child in Mexico City. I realise now, it's been quite a long journey back home.

:)